Sunday, May 06, 2007

i have been experimenting with the voice interface in my prius car appears there is lack of understanding by a standard japanese vehicle voice recognition computer system of the very,very common language known world-wide as ----'New Jersyese'--- i wound up sitting in my driveway, attempting to program the voice activation and discovered myself shouting at the dashboard display---"computter youse breaking my ba--s!now Caal homme". I can't imagine why it did not work---- Expatriot New Jerseydom is however rife with these soprano type difficulties, faced every day-- we, as a people, simply abide....those of us who flee New Jersey as soon as we can get a bus ticket---- feel forever like steve martin playing "Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli" in the movie "my blue heaven"---tipping FBI men and grocery sackers alike---cutting the lawn in a sharkskin suit while waving at the neighbors---we naturally blend--there are several specific plus factors in a New Jersey birthing---if you survive your birth and childhood while actually living in Jersey you develop an overwhelming attraction to women with REALLY, REALLY BIG HAIR (smoking, and gum chewing are an added plus!)--New Jerseyites as a people can out curse the occupant of any--any other state and do it in differing city ethnic languages, amazing since we are hardly understandable in common communication through standard "American"----and of vital importance, as well as being the source of our super powers---- nothing, absolutely nothing toxic made by man can ever harm us. Live birth in New Jersey passes on some unknown type of anti-body creating the perfect human immune system which guards us for ever more against the harmful effects of: bad water, toxic waste in the environment,noise, smoke,flesh eating diease, pizza covered in olive oil, tollbooths every 10 miles, rabid diner waitress's, insane unionized state troopers, and grants us the bombay resident like ability to ignore a surrounding society based on greed, and often wanton stupidity---- stealing from your employer is considered a standard new jersey job perk--and getting caught makes you a neighborhood my buddy trying to steal an above ground swimming pool from the manufacturing plant we worked at one summer piece by piece--fired but--a legend in his own time --- true new jerseyites don't "get" NASCAR-- sorry, but if NASCAR had your house at one end and work at the other....this to us would make sense-- voice activated, vehicle computer systems made in japan refuse to recognize my sub-culture. I'd be crushed but there's probably some guy in Georgia having the same problem...sitting in his driveway, in a prius yelling at the dashboard..."I saaid cull hum, demmit, thiis hear thang is runit!" with this short entry i publish....

46.9 mpg

No comments: