Sketching, reading, watching films (most recent is Public Enemy which was great!) and attempting to survive disappoints at work and a bad case of manopause...(see Ducati section below).

I've been depressed over the lack of real progress in my life..when i get this feeling it's bad,

gerbil in a wheel bad....and this is the worst it has ever been. I need to break out and accomplish something---that unknown something especially important to me even tho i know not what it is if you were to ask me....This is strange and bad.

This is the story I have enjoyed tremendously. I hope the tradition of eating missionaries comes back in style in the 3rd world. Being wacked out on Jesus might be an excuse to some religious nutbags in our society for killing abortion doctors but it is not an excuse for stealing kids in Haiti...In this area the Haitians are light years ahead of us Americans....A few hundred years in a PMITA Haitian jail might cause these "missionaries" to accept a little reality. Good for em.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8499401.stm

Still sketching---i received and started working with india ink filled, technical pens. A technical pen allows for much greater precision and detail. I really like working with them and below is an example of one of my first efforts with this type of pen.

Drawing and sketching is something I can do for the rest of my life...remember Grandma Moses?

To reduce the effects of manopause,I want a Ducati motorcycle. A Ducati Monster 696 in black to be precise as pictured above and below. I feel as if I am going nowhere in this life except to work followed quickly by a ride to the undertaker----and if that is the case i might as well go there at the speed of heat & light. I also feel that I am in control of nothing that surrounds me in life----if i buy this Ducati i will either be in control of it or dead---which right at the moment appears to be a wonderful contract which i have no problems signing my name to.

I've always hated cruiser motorcycles the kind loaded down with fat people and luggage carriers. Years ago I owned one of the first crotch rockets in the country the Kawasaki Ninja. Much less technologically advanced than the model shown in this link but on the same hand very similar in design.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kawasaki_Ninja_650R

At 58 years old I still cannot force myself to consider purchasing a Harley's or a Jap Big touring bike that are sooo fat, like the Honda Gold Wing, they come with a reverse gear and tow trailers. I can't be a part of the old guy motorcycle society that buys a helmet with the fake ponytail option and rides for Jesus....

Like Ricky Bobby I believe there is one purpose and one purpose only for having a motorcycle and that is to go FAST!

I live in the conservative middle of nowhere and an Italian motorcycle dealer is about as easy to find as an abortion clinic but I need to have this.....

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

As soon as this bullshit of work is done and retirement strikes watch out.

It's very true the moniker South Park places on people like me...."Old hippie douche bag". The older i get the worse (or better dependent on your viewpoint)

i get...

There are many many times everyday at work when i'll think what a mistake i made....why oh why did i screw up by becoming straight? How I should have stayed the way i was in 1968... grew the crop and stayed out of the world----because baby boomers like myself had a shot at doing that---we could have stayed cozy in the VW van with Moon Baby and the weed having never taken that fateful step out of the magic bus into trickle down economics, Gordon Gecko and the wall street world of the future. We could have changed the world back then...

But Nooooo. Those of us lucky enough to have experienced that world could not keep recreating it on a daily basis against the forces of pressures surrounding us....it was impossible to keep the----get married, get broke, get credit cards, get rich, get stuff and more stuff, get divorced (a lot) get rid of that Volkswagen, cut your hair, piss in this bottle if you want this job, and just say no.....The grey flannel conspiracy would rather, and did have us working 18 hrs. a day hyped on coke as compared to calling in sick a bunch to watch old movies at home while stoned. Efficiency you know, bottom line. We couldn't resist the pressure and honestly---we sold our souls. Things could have been very,very different right now.

This weirdness in the country surrounding me is created by my failures and the failures of boomers like me to have just said no, NO to Republicanism, wars in the desert, suburbia, SUV's, die at work syndrome, 24 hour cable TV, ab blasters, plastic surgery, weed wackers, doggie day care, and allowing fundamentalist religious people to actually vote or be on TV.

You know there are so many small things we allowed to be prostituted that i am ashamed of the list is endless here's two small examples---- FM radio used to be something--- something important, something underground, powerful and cutting edge--we used to listen to it, and get high-----now it is computerized broadcast garbage. When a new album was released we used to all get together and really listen to the music---in groups, discuss it and enjoy it and of course get very high. We only worked enough part time jobs to get what we needed and of course to get routinely high. Moon baby didn't go to bed with you because your were a company vice-president driving a Porsche and had a 401k---Moon baby went to bed with you if she, thought your were cute and could get high with you.

We boomers had a system in our hippie douche bag youth---which has never been equaled. Until now.....

As retirement looms on the 4 year horizon for me--i am planning on returning to those good old hippie douche bag days the instant, the very instant i retire because after all it is a big cycle is it not? baby to youth to adult to middle age to old age back to baby?

My alternative plan is however---- baby to hippie douche bag to adult to middle age to proudly hippie douche bag again.....you out Xers there are going to have a problem with us boomers in retirement cause i believe there are a lot of people my age planning this--they just aren't admitting it!

Oh Moon Baby, I'm hoooome!

As Hudson said in Aliens "Maybe he should be in charge!"

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10033/1032831-258.stm

This is the perfect 'Gran Torino' non-violent solution to neighborhood trespassing...."get off my lawn!" The fully automatic paintball sentry gun.

http://zero-op.com/mercenary

Jesus Christ how we cower like sheep---this is what the Nigerian inept crotch bomber is going to cost us.... for nothing other than security theater.

http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2010/02/the-legacy-of-the-christmas-day-bomber-in-president-obamas-budget.html

If it ever does happen to you here are hints and tips on how to survive a fall from 35,000 feet--it's been done several times. PS---you are statistically more likely to survive if you are a crew member--you bastards!

http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/air_space/4344036.html?page=2

The most recent addition to my action figure collection-----is the dyingest action figure of them all, Kenny from South Park----Kenny is on my shelves.

You Bastards....I decided I would be too weirdly focused by staying with science fiction/fantasy characters so....Kenny. I also purchased a 1/12th scale Vespa scooter (chow)and a black Moto Guzzi crotch rocket motorcycle. These I purchased simply because I had the overwhelming desire the other day to go out a buy a really fast motorcycle because I'm bored with myself----- but being old-- I quieted the fires, compromised so to say, by buying a model of what i wanted...hey it may work.

There is a vast world of work out there in this country, where at least 111 million people are employed in this country alone - many of whom are bored out of their minds. All day long.
Richard Nelson Bolles

I have been relatively pleased with myself lately. I am living up to my to do list expectations---working on my art, photography, staying organized----and reading. I've been hanging out alone much more which pleases me....taking my daily coffee shop break with a book. I might even work up the courage to bring my kit and sketch in there one day. I am currently reading THE GREAT GAMBLE, a history of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Watching the SF movies Pandorum and Moon this weekend.

The past few weeks here have been daily alternating pleasant weather with winter storms which is unpleasant---be one way or be another, you know? I still have zero success with the electric company in contacting anyone or discovering how to sell back electricity from my solar panels, so soon I will buy 4 additional panels and hook all 8 up to my residence with or without the electric company's permission---I've tried my best...they can therefore bite me.

My recent vacation helped me attain balance at work this week---although I constantly wonder how long the effect will last? At least there was one week of proper, human type balance I suppose. The household is clean, happy and organized. Therefore so am I.

Clutched in the grip of winter we are still trying----last week we planted blueberry bushes, raspberry bushes and grape vines for wine at the homestead. The only real thing we can do right now is plan, lay out seeds, start some plants indoors and wait for the coming of spring.

JoJo and I have agreed that there will be no farmers market for us this coming year...a little too weird, with too many rules. We will just give away our excess to those who need or want it. Having Saturday mornings free allows for more gardening time anyway.

Predator 2010, which is either currently filming or just completed has started filtering out to the web. There has been much discussion on this film based on can a re-make of any classic hold up to SF geek (like myself) expectations.

I believe that any film can live up to and exceed expectations...we humans only remember those that do not. Predator movies are now a genre like westerns. They need not be specific to one script track line or another...they are stand alone now, risen above the sequel status.

The leaked script for P2010 involves Predator abduction of outstanding human hunting stock from earth to a Predator planet-- soldiers, serial killers, criminals etc are hunted for sport and ritual....Adrien Brody is the featured character as an SAS operative abducted from Afghanistan. The supposed release date is July 7th 2010. My motto is "any Predator movie is better than no Predator movie" if you have to have a motto----what a DVD night this is going to make.

http://www.scificool.com/2010/01/predators-set-pics-reveal-predators-adrien-brody-and-some-russian-guy/

I agree with this piece on the ultimate doom of our economy.

http://www.examiner.com/x-33986-Political-Spin-Examiner~y2010m1d17-Is-the-American-economy-is-destined-to-fail

8 in 10 Americans support Medical Marijuana---my back hurts you know.

http://io9.com/5422222/the-scariest-map-ever-+-at-least-for-americans?autoplay=true

Pretty scary--an active map tracking the rise of unemployment across the US by date. Watch it and weep.

http://io9.com/5422222/the-scariest-map-ever-+-at-least-for-americans?autoplay=true

If love it or leave it was the law---it would be pretty lonely around here right now

http://news.yahoo.com/s/pew/20100127/ts_pew/27nationalsatisfaction

Oh yeah they just love us......

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8489131.stm

Awful weather has resulted in weekly lower Prius MPG figures...In New Mexico it has become routine this winter that the week will start out with beautiful weather and 55.6 MPG figures and by Thursday or Friday, snow, rain and cold not only makes the commute terrible but kills my MPG down to 46.8. I have discovered that weather closely follows driving technique as the major influence on MPG results. The weather cannot be controlled however... so my mileage over the past few weeks has been Psycho...weather consistency and closely following weather reports is now a big part of being Hybrid Boy.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H. L. Mencken

I am thrust backward to where I stood before the Presidential election, buying MRE's and solar panels to be able to stand outside of us and not be a part of what is going on..................

I have lost all hope for us. This recent vote in Massachusetts has confirmed my worst fears for the future. We are now a true Idiocracy. Ted Kennedy spent his political life trying to insure health care for all Americans. He dies and this is how his constituents remember his cause? His dedication to this issue? Idiots! Worse still are the talking heads and the celebration of the Republicans and their Right wing religious nut case stormtroopers. The Republicans truly understand the stupidity of the American public and play it so well...They are the ones who brought you a lower standard of living, less pay, less freedom, an illegal war and you love them for it don't you? You are going to vote them right back into office...If not how could this election have happen...don't claim it was independent voters, there were independent candidates that got only 1% of the vote---you like being screwed, you must. You must like it that your children can never become artists, writers, farmers, craftsmen because of lack of health insurance...that they will become disposable machines to corporate bonus bosses and not independent journeymen and women. You must...you must want this you fucking idiots.

Are we such an incompetent society that with the loss of a single vote in our governing bodies we must give up everything that has been desperately worked on for an entire year? The senatorial vote in Massachusetts going Republican means game over for change? Christ I am sorry for us as a nation. Does this mean we are going to allow those corporate whores to again strip us of our humanity? Of what remains of our wealth? Just WTF is wrong with us? I am completely and totally at a loss and would not be upset if Obama suddenly turned and said "you can have this shit I am outta here.." Who would want to be the leader of such a bankrupt, sad, ignorant, Jesus lands here at Walmart inspired nation of fat, stupid, ungrateful, tea party, Jesus fanatics.

We really need to get a grip on the fact that we must face our issues and face them based on the concept of creating a mature, civilized society, one that refuses corporate greed and quick profits to the cost of a decent society. If we do not---if we return to a Republican ---drill baby drill---marriage is between a man and woman only----no stem cell research---buy SUV's----no trains--- philosophy---- YOU ARE GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH IN THE DARK, SICK, POOR AND ALONE YOU FUCK. Because you are stupid and apparently deserve to.

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.
Leo Rosten