I seem to be fighting the entire world and all of it's systems lately. There are times when I would like to pick up my backpack, pick a direction and walk until I can no longer put one foot in front of the other?

There is nothing specific behind this desire--no single thing bothering me than I cannot deal with...it is just a desire...which I have to fight.

I have been working on my walk-out pack again. A full-size Lowe Alpine, internal frame backpack that I keep in my Prius. I have been building up the capability of this pack over time with protective clothing, glacial ax, a one man tent, mummy sleeping bag, new hiking boots, enough food and water for 4 days and specific desert survival equipment.

I began constructing this pack during the H1N1 season last year in case i had to hike the 38 miles home from work. There had been talk of quarantines if necessary. No one tells me I cannot go home--so I acquired the ability to strike out for home overland on foot. Being totally self contained and away from roads and population would be absolutely necessary....Personally I believe H1N1 or other deadly epidemic problems are far from over. We will continually be threatened by some type of dangerous virus in the future..so I continue to upgrade my walk home system.

My walkabout pack does not contain a firearm for survival since my employer does not allow personal firearms on the property. I cannot ignore the lack of a survival rife during walkabout any longer therefore I am considering the purchase of a Rossi, breakdown, single shot rifle-shotgun combination. Available in a number of calibers/gauges this rifle is small, extremely lightweight, breaks down into two pieces, is relatively inexpensive and can be hidden within my pack. I am planning on purchasing one as soon as possible. This last purchase should make my vehicle walkout pack complete.

Work has just sucked by being there this past month. There has been nothing specifically horrible it is just the being there. I just do not wish to be there any longer...

I must admit the truth in a catch up report...the truth is that there have been many fails and delays in projects I have been attempting.

DELAYED

My wind generator,solar panels and grid tie converter are still in the shed. The people I've hired to do installation have not shown up. They keep saying they are going to but a consistent no show as of yet. "My son was sentenced to prison, I am sick"---blahblahblah....All I have been able to do is feel the wind, the Sun and realize that I am not making power. Horrible.

FAILED

My amazing purchase of 6 British DPM desert shirts are too small. Apparently the med/large designation in Great Britain's military indicates midget. So I am making myself squeeze into shirts I absolutely love and appear to all as a desert sausage.

FAILED

No matter what steps I take I cannot keep my survival supply shed clean---every time I turn around it is destroyed and disorganized---I simply do not know what to do any longer.

DELAYED

Apparently the universe has decided that I should not have canteens. Every attempt in ordering military two quart canteens had been back ordered or unfulfilled.

OVERALL

Basically homesteading endeavors this month have been at a low success ratio. We have tilled the garden beds and expanded with new beds.

Seedlings are growing well inside under the lights and we are planting as the weather warms. My FN/FAL is now scoped, my SA web gear works perfectly with it. I am reading like a banshee...but the above delays and fails bother me. This month rates a 4 it was hard to dance to.

Who cares that dogs bark, when the Legion passes?