The last week of my vacation---and as any normal human would be, I'm sorry to see it end----even tho i know there's no alternative---I accomplished quite a bit---i feel better, stronger mentally, although that usually only lasts a few days once back to the daily grinder...but this was simply a perfect time....that i needed---I was beginning to relate to the world like the character, Theo, in Children of Men. 

reading: 

WHEN GIANTS FALL , Michael J. Panzner

working on: 

cleaning, detailing our vehicles

watching:

RISE OF THE LYCONS (tonight)

A soon to be release SF film Pandorum--
http://io9.com/5271780/new-pandorum-trailer-debuts-white-devil-toddler-from-space-hell

I am simply so bummed....

http://www.people.com/people/news/category/0,,personsTax:DavidCarradine,00.html

well at least somebody hiring but is this what we've come to?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090604/ap_on_bi_ge/us_wal_mart_jobs

It's unfortunate but there are some things I desire. Odd things. Items that i really do not require or have a true purpose for other that the sheer overwhelming joy of coolness. 

This understanding of the lack of necessity for these items does not stop me in any way from the intense and often times, desperate desire in just wanting these things that I focus on. Weird objects that others usually shake their head and wonder why I love and have a singular focus on that one thing....

take this beautiful, 1953 Morris Minor, series II, Cabriolet currently for sale on EBay. God I covet this vehicle!

...I have absolutely no need for this. As I think that very thought...... I know it will fit perfectly in my little shed/garage. 

 There's absolutely no reason to spend money on this---other than wondrous short drives to Starbucks with the top down in the summer at 8:00 in the evening. I will then sit on their patio, sip a coffee, enjoy a smoke and just revel in observing the beauty of this vehicle....I will be cool and answer questions as passersby ask me about it.  A true adult would never think this way about a material object... 

I simply do not want to be an adult when it comes to buying this car...i want to be a child...being an adult all the time really sucks-You'd have to borrow the money and you hate borrowing and have sworn not to. Especially for something that is a luxury like this cabriolet.....the problem with a car like this is that you cannot plan for it...it's not like buying the average family truckster. This kind of vehicle comes along once every so often and you simply cannot---just find another one like it.....the car dictates on this kind of deal..it's as simply as that! 

(Insert standard rap # 5 here, which is the internalized mental rap centered around the "why am I working" theme combined with standard rap #4---the life is too short rap).

So WTF am I going to do? That's the real question isn't it? Wish I knew....I keep bouncing back and forth every screaming minute....YES--NO--YES--NO--YES--NO--YES--NO....It's a tremendous little car...just so styling...and i can see my very soon to become, geezer self futzing around with it when retired---Cars like this are so, well just so totally English---so right for me---so few and far between. So I call the dealer and they want $15,000 just to break reserve on this auction and I wind up being saved--being an adult by default--feeling like a balloon emptying out cause i just simply cannot, even in the worst case scenario child mode, justify spending that amount---for this car!---It is wonderful to have Karma decide things for you! It simplifies my world....Believe it or not tho---that's my so called normal brain process..tires me out dude.

"i don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career.

I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything bought, sold or processed. You know as a career, I don't want to do that."

Lloyd Dobler in the movie, SAY ANYTHING.

warren